One of the lessons in my personal essay course was not to write about people you don’t want to write about, because the reader can tell your holding back. I have people I don’t write about and at first, when I started this blog, I hesitated even writing about my kids, as they might not want me to put their business out there. But when I don’t write about them, I’m afraid they might think, ‘maybe she doesn’t care.’
It’s a difficult line, holding back and not telling all. It is even harder starting stories and leaving them hang because you’re not happy with the choices someone is making. Then it’s not just the writer waiting, but the reader, waiting for your characters to get on board and arrive where you want them to be so you can resume their story. Writing the personal essay is quite different from fiction in this aspect. Sometimes I wish I could just write my loved ones where I want them to be; spare them from pain, heartache, and waisted time.
Instead of eliminating one character from my blog, I’ve put the entire family on hold, waiting for all my ducks to get in line. I don’t want to praise some and ignore others; better for now to leave the ducks at the pond, they all seem to be fending for themselves anyway, grown as they are. One of them maybe having a good old-time while my feather’s are getting ruffled but I’ll hold back my quacking for now.