When childhood needs were not met or if you’ve been burnt in your relationships it is sometimes difficult to overcome. It may be interfering with a present relationship and your ability to trust. It is healthy to proceed in a new relationship with caution. Trust needs to be earned, it is something that in a healthy relationship grows.
Trust: The ability to believe that a person’s actions and intentions are honest and considerate of one’s:
- Personal Well-being
- Sense of Security
- Emotional Safety
- Physical Safety
- Relationship Commitment
When your past disappointments interfere with your ability to trust, a Bull Shit meter is necessary to differentiate between valid feelings and old haunts or as that translates: the difference between reality and your fears.
Communication need to begin on GREEN, with the expression of your needs, wants, and desires. Just because they were not met in the past does not mean they are not valid. Your partner should be informed at this point that there is something UNSETTLING in your relationship. They are not mind readers.
Action/Reaction is not always immediate. Sometimes your partner is not going to know how to respond. This doesn’t mean that they won’t or they haven’t heard you.
Caution: They are not the ones who ignored your needs in the past (even if they have) you are still in the relationship it is time to revisit Communication adding direction for meeting your needs, wants, desires…
This is called the Bull Shit Meter because if as soon as you are feeling Unsettled, you find yourself running to the top of the meter, into a Panic:
It is not reality but fear.
You may be reacting to old haunts, not facts.
Allow yourself and your partner happiness.
Can you relate?