Understanding Emotions

I am studying the science of emotional life. I plan to relate what I learn adding scientific perspective to the writing of my memoir. As I begin to interpret Joseph LeDoux’s, The Emotional Brain: The Mysterious Underpinnings of Emotional Life I immediately connect the basis of my emotional journey to conclude with a “harmonious integration of reason and passion” although my travels have been anything but harmonious. Perhaps it will end up as, My Some What Fictional Memoir a catchy title.

Am I allowed to do that?

Understanding the over emotional me has been my life’s quest. As, I’ve been told:

  • I’m oversensitive.
  • I’m too emotional.
  • I feel too much.
  • “Stop crying!”

Over the years, I’ve tried to keep my emotions in check. You know how the saying goes “Drown your sorrows”. For a time, I had even given in to needing the help of a little pill for depression. It worked; I marched through an extremely difficult period in my personal life emotionally detached, having learned there are pills for that.

As I call this my life’s quest, those were the things I was told in my childhood. I learned early, to cry in silence and to hide my face so others couldn’t see my tears. The next lesson I remember learning was that my parents did not care why I was crying, they just wanted it to stop. It took me decades to realize that this was not because I was unworthy of my feelings or that my need were unimportant, but it was because they were not emotionally available.

In my adulthood, with this knowledge, as I’ve replaced unhealthy relationships with healthy ones, I continually need to remember when I am feeling alone or that my needs aren’t being met, to use my words. This may sound fundamental, yet, it is useless when dealing with those who are emotionally unavailable or those who seek only to fulfill their own agenda, as in those unhealthy relationships. And although I sometimes forget the people in my life are not mind readers, I must express my needs. Otherwise, how will my needs be known?

I believe it is important to heal the emotionally neglected child, changing the message of ‘the unworthy’. I do this by giving her a voice and her health as she dismisses her antagonists, as she learns to live her life with reason and passion.

Do you see self-growth as you develop your fictional and/or non-fictional characters?



About Aligaeta

I am a life time resident of NY State. A graduate of Nassau Community College, AA in Liberal Arts and Queens College, BA in English and Sociology. I am the mother of four children, the survivor of divorce, and I love to write in prose. This blog will be a record of my journey... destination unknown. Read more... https://aligaeta.wordpress.com/
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8 Responses to Understanding Emotions

  1. sogoldilocks says:

    I too need to learn to “use my words” as I was told word for word. I too learned to cry in silence. I am speaking out now. It’s risky, but worthwhile. Looking forward to reading more…

  2. jkbwho07 says:

    This has struck a note with me, not because of my parents being emotionally unavailable, but because I was once too emotionally available and then when my schizophrenia hit I became unemotional, I am just now trying to sort through the emotions that I have been suppressing, hoping that they are righteous emotions and not bitter ones… (A little bit of both I suspect) Thank you for sharing!

    • Aligaeta says:

      Welcome JKB, I’m happy you were compelled to share. Emotions are difficult and the symptoms of schizophrenia and/or the medication in search of stability can further interfere with your emotional state until you find that level place. Thank you for joining me on this journey. Each one of us has our obstacles to overcome, our journey to travel, and our stories to tell.

      My best to you, Aligaeta

  3. John says:

    Well childhood fears and phobias if not treated at the right time can lurk life long. I’m sorry to hear about the pain you went through. Emotional support is so much important , it can heal even the most loneliest and depressed person. One thing I would tell you never bottle up your feelings inside you just find a vent for them . Well frankly speaking I don’t find many changes in myself, I’m just about the same little john !
    Stress. Everyone has it. Question is how much?

    • Aligaeta says:

      Welcome John! I appreciate your comment.

      I agree with the Stress-O-Meter concept, if I am understanding correctly: keeping your stress level in check, finding a stress reduction activity. I think I need a BS meter: your projection is BS, your fears are unfounded, this does not mean the end of a relationship, get perspective!

      I’ll check out your link. Thank and Best Regards, Aligaeta

  4. Lisa says:

    Wow, can I ever relate to this post. I wonder if being “too sensitive” (“too much” in general) is an experience common to many writers. Like you, I’ve grown in my understanding of my sensitivity, and part of that growth has definitely come by way of my writing. Thanks for helping me to see that.

  5. Aligaeta says:

    Thanks Lisa, I feel I haven’t yet begun to stop writing the way out of my childhood. I am hoping finding peace and harmony in my life as an adult will bring forth great wisdom for many through my writing.

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