One can only hope, when they see their child going down the wrong path, they will notice and adjust before it’s too late. As the Freshie decided high school was not for her, waiting tables was a satisfactory job, and friends are all that matter: I’ll be her out. It’s okay if she says “My mother’s making me…”. That might be easier than saying “I realized I was wrong.”
She needed me to tell her “Dropping out of high school is not an option. It is the bare minimum of what I expect you to accomplish in life. You don’t need to know what you want to do with your life, but I won’t watch you closing doors to opportunities.” I won’t kid myself believing that saying this again is what changed her mind, but it may have motivated her to get back on track before it was too late.
I’m sure the car accidents, the boyfriend being less than ideal, and the all important friend not being as important a person that she thought she was, had a greater impact and I was simply there to be supportive and not adding to the drama, in the freshie’s life, when it was time to leave the stage.
To be honest, I have no more information about the ‘boyfriend’. As far as I can see, he’s history and she has chosen to take it slow and date a young man attending college.
- Perhaps Freshie doesn’t want to look like a loser. (That works for me.)
Here in the North-East there are terrible accidents each winter. The past two winters the freshie has had many friends involved in crashes. Last year, in a fatal crash she lost her friend Brittney. My daughter was devastated. So it was no surprise to me that when Brittney birthday came, this week, there was no going to school, friends gathered in remembrance, the drama was in full swing.
Later that night, the freshie’s friend’s TJ and Billy were on their way home, passing a vehicle when they hit black ice. TJ lost control of his truck and flipped five times being ejected. Billy who was strapped in has suffered neck and back injuries.
The following morning, friend receiving the news of TJ, her ex-we-can’t-live-together-boyfriend, needed freshie to skip school and be with her by her at TJ’s bedside in the hospital, only to arrive there to find new-girlfriend by his side.
The girls spent the day sitting at Billy’s bedside instead. Billy, who didn’t need high school and dropped out, having chosen a life of manual labor maybe looking like someone who may need an education to get by in life, as we do not yet know what his physical limitations will be.
I image these things could have crossed the freshie’s mind…
- What if I can’t waitress anymore and need to go to college and I haven’t even finished high school?
- I could have been in that truck.
- As I skip school because of with my boyfriend, what’s to say I won’t be replaced a week later?
All of a sudden, Mommy is looking wiser than friend.
And I continue to pray: Lord, give me strength.
I believe all things happen for a reason and only wish lessons didn’t have to be so hard for the freshie.
Can you see we are not alone?