Well, I am trying really hard to keep perspective and effectually communicate with the freshie. Being seventeen years old isn’t easy, I’ve been there and despite the aching urge to give up one must still perceiver and accomplish the basic goal of adolescence: to graduate high school. This might mean fighting the urge to run around at the beck and call of a friend who has already met this responsibility.
I needed to point out to the freshie how her friend has packed it in and ran anytime things got difficult, moving between her parents two residences, moving in with the boyfriend’s family, making him move out so they would have a place of their own, all because she couldn’t follow anyone’s house rules. It was no different once they got their own place either, now with the apartment deserted two months later.
I asked the all important question: What do you think, the friend will get rid of you too, if you don’t jump every time she needs you? In return, I got the tears of affirmation.
It’s time for freshie to take care of her responsibilities and friend needs to accept this. Friend has a high school diploma. Shouldn’t freshie be supported by friend in meeting this basic obligation of adolescence? Where will freshie be in life if she doesn’t meet this milestone? Answer: Forever regretting not putting her own needs first.
When questioned, freshie thought she had a choice as to whether to attend high school or not, I informed her she had no such choice. She has a responsibility to attend and achieve as her friend had. I asked her, of your friends, who doesn’t go to high school that hasn’t already graduated? There was not an answer. It is too bad that many of her friends have already graduated and left her behind. She is younger and needs to meet this milestone. She has to come home at night and take care of herself, eat right, sleep right, and get to school in the morning, as everyone else did, when it was their turn.
Also, we needed to make a Parent/Child date, as discussed in an earlier post. Freshie and I are off to the Bronx Zoo, the first Sunday with nice weather. She’s very excited, as am I.
Every child is different. How do you motivate your child?