Parenting Freshie

Well, I am trying really hard to keep perspective and effectually communicate with the freshie. Being seventeen years old isn’t easy, I’ve been there and despite the aching urge to give up one must still perceiver and accomplish the basic goal of adolescence: to graduate high school. This might mean fighting the urge to run around at the beck and call of a friend who has already met this responsibility.

I needed to point out to the freshie how her friend has packed it in and ran anytime things got difficult, moving between her parents two residences, moving in with the boyfriend’s family, making him move out so they would have a place of their own, all because she couldn’t follow anyone’s house rules. It was no different once they got their own place either, now with the apartment deserted two months later.

I asked the all important question: What do you think, the friend will get rid of you too, if you don’t jump every time she needs you? In return, I got the tears of affirmation.

It’s time for freshie to take care of  her responsibilities and friend needs to accept this. Friend has a high school diploma. Shouldn’t freshie be supported by friend in meeting this basic obligation of adolescence? Where will freshie be in life if she doesn’t meet this milestone? Answer: Forever regretting not putting her own needs first.

When questioned, freshie thought she had a choice as to whether to attend high school or not, I informed her she had no such choice. She has a responsibility to attend and achieve as her friend had. I asked her, of your friends, who doesn’t go to high school that hasn’t already graduated? There was not an answer. It is too bad that many of her friends have already graduated and left her behind. She is younger and needs to meet this milestone. She has to come home at night and take care of herself, eat right, sleep right, and get to school in the morning, as everyone else did, when it was their turn.

Also, we needed to make a Parent/Child date, as discussed in an earlier post. Freshie and I are off to the Bronx Zoo, the first Sunday with nice weather. She’s very excited, as am I.


Every child is different. How do you motivate your child?


About Aligaeta

I am a life time resident of NY State. A graduate of Nassau Community College, AA in Liberal Arts and Queens College, BA in English and Sociology. I am the mother of four children, the survivor of divorce, and I love to write in prose. This blog will be a record of my journey... destination unknown. Read more...
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6 Responses to Parenting Freshie

  1. Southern Man says:

    When my son was a freshman in high school his principal sent an email to all parents of freshman boys ( All boys school) notfying us the year’s first report cards were due out in a week. And, when we saw our sons grades, he asked us not to call the school or our sons teachers to complain that there must be a mistake because our precious boys could do no wrong. Instead he asked us to sit down with our sons and review their work ethic and study habits. After that review he asked us to discuss life expectations and professional aspirations.

    Once those were defined, he suggested we research colleges and universities with our sons and determine entrance criteria to said schools that would enable them to acheive their goals and dreams. He then he asked us to once again revisit our childs work ethic and study habits to see if goal and desire were in alignment with want and need.

    My son was an “A” student and was throughout high school. He waited to slack off in college losing his academic scholarship coasting me dearly in terms of tuition, room and board…

    As a sophomore now, he is beginning to realize he will not be in school for ever. I attribute this to boys maturing later than girls but I believe realistically, he understands there are only 3 semesters before his girl friend goes to Vetinary school in another state and if he wants to go with her, he needs to have graduated with good grades as she has told him she will not marry a slacker.

    The point here is that no matter how hard we try, we cannot change a mind that’s unwilling to change. We have to give them the tools and motivation to help them logically think for themselves and the space to grow into adulthood. Some figure it out faster than others and some never figure it out at all with the motivations being different for each one.

    What’s a parent to do? The best you can.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Ever stop to think about the fact that maybe “friend” does support freshie and her choices in life? Maybe “friend” understands what freshie is going through and is trying to be there for her in the best way possible. If you want freshie to go to school and be home at night maybe you should take action and try to be a mother to her for once.

    • Aligaeta says:

      Parenting a child that has friends enabling her poor choices is quite the challenging.

      • Anonymous says:

        Her “friend” and other friends want the best for freshie I’m sure but, no one can force another human being into doing something they don’t want to do.

  3. Pingback: Educational Achievement and the Drop Out | Aligaeta's Blog

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