Parent-Child Dates

With spring-break approaching I get all excited about my girl coming home from college. As I am looking forward to spending time with her I know that she will have engagements with her friends and she will be looking to pick up a few shifts at the pizzeria. On both weekends, her father will be traveling up from Long Island, as he does each weekend to spend time (have dates) with his children. I don’t need to worry: What about my time with Sarah? We have a date. We are going into NYC for dinner and a Barbara Taylor Bradford lecture on fiction writing. In preparation, Sarah is reading A Woman of Substance, one of my all-time favorite novels, as we share a passion for literature.

Each day as work is very sporadic, Matthew is home with me. He lives here until he goes back to college in September. Initially, I thought of the television shows we sit and enjoy together, the meals I make that he sometimes eats instead of eating cereal. We do have our time together as I support him through his mental health services and work through the associated projects. Not that any of this is lively or fun, but, it is a loving connection we share.

Michael my gypsy 27-year-old is back in NY after many years away living in Alaska, Seattle, and Colorado. He lets me know when it’s ‘Momma Time’. I get the call “I’m on the bus”, always a surprise! We share our love of food. My son is a chef and although sometimes he likes to treat his mom to a special meal, other time, he’ll arrive with a nice bottle of wine or special dessert port to compliment dinner made by me, mom. We treasure our times surrounded by the meal.

Last but not least, my youngest, the freshie, who I don’t see much of although technically, she lives here. My thoughts are with her constantly. My heart aches as she flutters about with her friends. Last week, she was away at our favorite vacation spot, Cape Cod. This time she was not with me but with her friends. I heard more from her while she was away than when she’s home. It was lovely. I knew I was hearing from her because over the years, her special time at the Cape had been shared with me. We have our time on the Cape this summer already reserved, but I miss her and realize: we need to make a date; something soon. Although, she runs/pushes away: I know she feels like the forgotten child. She needs to know, she’s not. Mommy loves you, too! xoxoxo


About Aligaeta

I am a life time resident of NY State. A graduate of Nassau Community College, AA in Liberal Arts and Queens College, BA in English and Sociology. I am the mother of four children, the survivor of divorce, and I love to write in prose. This blog will be a record of my journey... destination unknown. Read more...
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3 Responses to Parent-Child Dates

  1. jannatwrites says:

    I think it’s cool how your kids make time for you, even in adulthood. I hope that mine will do the same.

    I was struck by the ending of this post; about your youngest pushing away and feeling like the forgotten child. Making dates with the kids is important even when they are younger. My older son is very jealous of his brother and often acts out, which results in us getting onto him for his behavior, which sparks a tearful fit that we like younger son more than him. Ugh. Things go much better when I can schedule even fifteen minutes of uninterrupted alone time with each of them.

    I do hope you enjoy the upcoming kid dates 🙂

  2. Aligaeta says:

    We were always trying to balance special time with each of them. I called Sarah weeks ago when I first sent the rsvp to the event with BTB, I had her write to register her own seat for the event, as to take responsibility. I didn’t want it to be: Mom’s making me go to this thing, but it being mom and I are going to the event down in the city…

    My point being, that it doesn’t matter the age of the child, everyone needs to feel special. You just have to deal with it differently depending on the age. It’s difficult now to plan things with the freshie as she has taken on being a vegetarian, we use to enjoy going out for mexican or sushi. Even our special trips to the beach aren’t what they use to be, she love being by the ocean but she can’t tolerate being in the sun and she is allergic to sunscreen.

    I wish I could afford to take her out on Broadway for a show, but finances aren’t what they use to be and she’s too young for these free University events. Maybe she’d like to go to the Bronx Zoo, or into Manhattan to the Museum of Natural History, or the Museum of Modern Art. We need to find something special.

    Even at their young ages, you can see how they feel less than, that the other is the favorite and its so hard to reward them when they are ‘acting up’.

    Parenting isn’t easy. And each child it different. Try four of them. Just Kidding.

  3. Pingback: Wrapped in Momma’s Love | Aligaeta's Blog

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