As I am continually thinking about what I can’t stand about this house as I walk from room to room paralyzed by its need of repair, organization, and cleaning, now that there is a plan to move, I think about what I will miss.

It is certainly crazy how this works. The though of moving out, finishing the repairs, and painting, finally making it livable for someone else to move in, makes me wish I were staying here. Yes, the house is too small and we are not planning to expand with these renovations. So that problem will not fix itself. Our other house is much bigger but here I have the farm.

I can still plant and come back to take care of the crops. My hope is that my sister and the kids will move into the house and we’ll be taking care of the land together. Wouldn’t it be nice if her children took interest in the farm. My children have wanted no part of it and their refusal to help had only over the years, tarnished my expectations of the farm. Although not having them involved, I consoled myself, had left the farm to be my sanctuary, my solace from intrusion but the actual work involved on my own had been physically exhausting at times and I am not getting any younger.

I can set up a garden at the other house, this is true but it won’t we the same, trading fine powder black dirt for rocks in the soil. Yet, everything else will be much better.

I wonder will it be too much to hope that my children will not trash his house as they have trashed mine. Will their inconsideration destroy our relationship? I won’t let it. They will be forced to be responsible and respectful or leave and make it on their own. I think I can live with this. It is time for them to grow up and it is  long over due that they show some respect; for themselves, for me, and for others. They have been far too comfortable at our expense.

I wonder… are my expectations too high?


About Aligaeta

I am a life time resident of NY State. A graduate of Nassau Community College, AA in Liberal Arts and Queens College, BA in English and Sociology. I am the mother of four children, the survivor of divorce, and I love to write in prose. This blog will be a record of my journey... destination unknown. Read more... https://aligaeta.wordpress.com/
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4 Responses to Expectations

  1. Lisa says:

    Set high expectations, make them live up to it. Of course, sometimes we get disappointed with high expectations, but if we don’t aim high we don’t know what we can achieve.

    Thanks for visiting my blog today. I will be exploring yours more.

    • Aligaeta says:

      Welcome to my blog and my complexed life. As I write regularly I am learning more about myself; my strengths and weaknesses. High expectation: I don’t know how it is I lost my way settling for the unacceptable. Thanks.

  2. jannatwrites says:

    I agree with Lisa – set the high expectations. It’s your house and your property should be respected. If it was their own house, I bet they would think twice before trashing it.

    We may be a bit hard on our kids, but when my older son was five, he had a temper fit and broke the toilet paper holder. We made him use his allowance to buy the replacement screws and pay my husband for the labor of fixing it. He hasn’t destroyed anything since then.

    Good luck!

    • Aligaeta says:

      Thanks for sharing your older ones lesson learned. Although my children enjoy living in a clean space as I do notice their spirits rise when there rooms get an over-haul, they live like complete slobs and this is what will have to stop. Their spaces are in need, overdue, for the complete over-haul once again. I have taken over in the past but over the years as they should be managing on their own I do this less frequently. I’m down to twice a year and although I stopped picking up after them they still have yet to take on the responsibility of their spaces. As far as the ‘freshie’ is concerned, I think she would like to be homeless, amongst her friends, rather than cooperate.

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