Funk and the Other “F” Word

A “Funk” I say after exploring my state of being, searching my vocabulary for the word to define. Having never used this word before with caution, I looked it up before proceeding, not wanting to sound like an ass. I found many meanings that might lead to misinterpretation, however, its Scottish origin of 1743 defines funk as “depression, ill-humor” precisely how I feel. Don’t you just love finding that precise word?

Everyone can’t be having an off day. Today, I read the same blogger’s as usual without a thought to comment, not even clicking a “like”. I am even annoyed by the missed humor, as these writer generally invoke my laughter. Today, nothing and I’m annoyed. I specifically went to these happy places to escape my funk and yet I remain exactly where I started: in the funk.

It’s an odd word. I much prefer another four letter word beginning with “f” and ending with “k”, a passionate word it is, unlike funk. The other word, I used just this morning when hearing the news that Tom died. I didn’t particularly care for Tom or for the way he treated my little sister or how he (in my opinion) ill-provided for my sister and their children. Today, I said that other “f” word and now I am stuck in a funk.

I’m not in a funk because I said the other “f” word, I say it all the time: cooking/burning myself in the kitchen, the word flies from my mouth, sending Peanut the dog running for cover.

Then there are times like this, hearing the news that someone passed away and with the news I lose my ability to articulate in a proper manner. Of course by the time I had my sister, the young widow, on the phone, I was able to say “I’m so sorry for your loss” and inquire as to: how she and the children were dealing with Tom’s passing.

This funk has nothing to do with Tom. I’m upset, depressed, ill-humored, and in a f__king funk because the people I love are in pain.

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About Aligaeta

I am a life time resident of NY State. A graduate of Nassau Community College, AA in Liberal Arts and Queens College, BA in English and Sociology. I am the mother of four children, the survivor of divorce, and I love to write in prose. This blog will be a record of my journey... destination unknown. Read more... https://aligaeta.wordpress.com/
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8 Responses to Funk and the Other “F” Word

  1. I’m experiencing a funk to for the same reason but, unlike you, couldn’t find a way to put my feelings into words. I’m just working through it one day at a time. I think that is all you can do. I’m sending you well wishes. Hope you get out of your funk soon.

    • Aligaeta says:

      My best to you Haley. Grief is a tough one to write through, but you’re starting if just by sharing your comment. Some times it’s easier to express sympathy with others than to search for the words for your own feelings. I’m sure the words are there ready and waiting for you, when you are ready for them. My best wishes to you and deliverance the from the funk.

  2. Aligaeta says:

    Unlike my funk, my brother posted on Facebook:”Life without you” STEVIE RAY VAUGHAN

    as a beautiful tribute to our brother-in-law. We all handle our grief differently. I like his way better.

  3. Southern Man says:

    I constantly verify the definition of words or look for an appropriate meaning before using them. When my daughter left for college, rather then having a big father/daughter talk, I wrote her a letter and hid it in her belongings for her to discover long after we left her on campus. I based my message to her, through the following words:

    Respect
    Character
    Perseverance
    Commitment
    Hope
    Love

    She called me about 2 weeks later after reading my letter. She said it moved her to tears and inspired her to be all she could be as a student and as a woman. She framed the 2 pages and it is prominately displayed by her degree. My words were of a father who loves his daughter but she chose them as a life lesson.

    I completely understand your mood and mindset and have been in one for the last 2 days. Mine is not compounded by loss for which I am sorry for yours or rather for your sisters. I hope she can find strength in her faith and family and possibly in one of the words I have shared.

  4. TheIdiotSpeaketh says:

    Sorry about your loss. Going into a funk is perfectly understandable. Wishing you all the best through this rough time.

  5. Pingback: FUNK: Talking, Discovering, Resolving. What Am I Waiting For? « ctrecoveryjourney

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