Truckin’ On

I’d like to report that there has been wonderful things going on that has kept me from writing or that the hope I cling to has returned but neither are the case. I have been applying for some interesting positions but like so many others I most likely will not hear a response or there is that slight chance my whole world will change and my worries will vanish.

I don’t know what to make of these tears. I’m either afraid to examine how I feel about the unknown or I realize its not worth the effort spending time with fears that will pass if I ignore them. I know all I need to do is walk through this dark valley, I’ve been here before and I will emerge again in a brighter place, as I have before. I guess I still have some hope left but I’m scraping the bottom.

I’ve reached my final tier of unemployment benefits that have been shortened by several weeks due to some sign of recovery although it is not a recovery that I can see or understand. I’ll believe it when I see a paycheck. In the meantime, I’ll keep truckin’ on.

Looking for brighter days…

Life’s Maze

Since arriving home from Florida my days have been busy catching up in the garden trashing expired crops, harvesting new crops, and doing lots of weeding.

While I was away I continued my job search and like years past the week of the fourth of July was uneventful for work prospects. Yet I’ve search and searched since my return just in case something on one of my many job sites had gotten past me or has been posted since my return and I am left with nothing worthy of action on my part. The same jobs I’ve already applied for, the ones I don’t qualify for, and the part-time positions are all that remain.

I think about going for my master’s degree, not that the bachelor’s degree did me any good. I shopped today looking at suits and thought ‘maybe wearing one of those would get me a job.’ I didn’t buy into that although I might-should I get an interview in NYC, otherwise up here in the ‘country’ I find myself most times considered over dressed.

I often find myself running around in circles getting dizzy in the repetitiveness searching for a way to escape the maze while one day ends and another begins with no more than another sunset followed some hours later by another sunrise and I continue to search for life’s meaning and my place in it without answers, without a sense of purpose and yet another day ends and another begins and all that is left is worry about the many tomorrows that will follow.

 

Ding and Helen Turn Paparazzi

The girls were having fun. Let’s just say us women hovering around fifty at the beach with our men got caught up in giggles, playing like school girls. They say laughters addicting and although we could have stopped our nonscence at anytime we let it continue for hours.

It all began when Ding spotted this Latin Lover sporting his fitted swim trunks coming out the ocean throwing back his dangling locks, bringing him to all of our attention.

Fred was quick to name him Fabio and it stuck although when he gathered a group of flabby male adolescence and began instructing a warm-up routine followed by the group jogging down the beach, he was then named Fancy Man. Although we pondered his sexual orientation and what might go on down in the secluded area of the beach one must applaud his efforts in fighting childhood obesity as the Fancy Man and his crew left our sight.

This was the perfect opportunity for Ding to head off shell collecting with camera and Chris as decoy.

There was a time when we were younger when spotting a man in a speedo the words “nasty” and “dirty” would have entered our conversation but not today. As some, people watch in airports and shopping malls conjure up stories in their minds of the life of strangers, today as a group Fabio the Fancy Man led many different lives worth our debate: artist, dishwasher, and landscaper to name a few. We also wondered if the abundantly shaped woman with the group in her oh, too small bikini was his wife.

“Here he comes.” Helen announced camera ready when Fabio with one mere jogger behind came into sight. But wait there was one more in some distance behind catching up. It was Ding running up behind them. We lost all composure.

Then with the Latin Lover Fancy Man resting peaceful a mere blanket away it was time for Ding and Helen under pretense of photoing our group captured many shots of Fabio to the point of rediculous.

Images were taken from various cameras and phones. This one captured by Helen sent to me via Facebook: Fabio sprawled out beside us.

Sometime later, Chris returned toting their bag of shells mumbling disgrutals of Ding having run off leaving him behind as she followed the trails of Fabio the Fancy Man, Ding’s Latin Lover.

 

Beach Days

It looks like another beautiful day for the beach, clear blue sky and plenty of heat. I take the cloudy beach days just as well. I’ve also been known to remain on the Florida beaches in the rain. As a visitor to the Treasure Coast I find ”Everyday is a beach day.” Okay, I place the exception on torrential down pours, lightning storms and God forbid hurricanes none of which are in the forecast.

Of our beach friends: Helen and Randy and Chris and Sue, Fred and I always are first to arrive and the last to leave although we are not sun worshippers quite the contrary as fair-skinned as we are we hide beneath the umbrella and I’m slathered in sunscreen only to emerge for my trips into the ocean for a swim and relief from the heat and in doing so I have quite the tan going on. Fred likes to get his color all in one day: starting with an unprotected burn he claims will turn into a great tan as a result like me he then has to hide from the sun.

I guess Sue and Chris arriving later in the day have the right idea but for me I want the whole day by the shore. Helen and Randy are sun worshipers Randy with his tropical oils and Helen with her mild SPF’s are both golden-brown and the only ones of our group who look like they really belong having mastered both the sun and the beach.

We are all New Yorker’s. Sue and Chris now permanent Floridian residence. Helen and Randy residence of both states. And Fred and I waiting and hoping to eventually be able to call the Treasure Coast home sometime down the road. We belong here close by the water. For the time being will just enjoy our trips and dream of our future.

Traveling Through the Night

As one might guess a 1200 mile road trip with Fred would leave a story to tell.  Remembering our last trip to Florida and all of the needless hours we sat in traffic through the state of Virginia, Fred suggested we … Continue reading →

Morning Thoughts

I welcome the bluest sky this morning in Port Saint Lucie, Florida. It’s just me and my coffee sitting poolside while the rest of the house sleeps. I’ve caught up on my email and everyone’s facebook stats and find myself writing this to pass the time. I’m looking forward to another day on the beach – this one filled with sunshine!

I write from a laptop with the battery low… so, off I go.

Leaving a Full-House Behind

I am saddened to say that my plan for our family vacation to Cape Cod, much like our plan to go to Florida, has also fallen apart. As it turns out Fred’s son, Joe is unable to join us. Then, Sarah informed me she will be working, covering a shift for a friend mid-week, so she will only be joining us for the last few of our days away. Melissa, my run-away disgrutaled daughter has yet to return home choosing her freedom over house rules. (Let’s just say her life is a vacation.) Therefore, the vacationing group was down to a mere three campers, my honey Fred and my son Matthew; that was until Fred dropped the bomb saying he can’t make it either.

I’m pretty flexible, as one who has been following my blog might have noticed as I have tossed my vacation plans between Massachusetts and Florida, but what I can not be flexible with is the dates in which to travel. You see, my reservation at the Cape is set, booked as necessary six months in advance, as well as my Florida friend’s time off from her job with both coincidently being at the same time.

It would have been nice to take Joe with us to the Cape. I was excited to see this little one’s enthusiasm experiencing our camping adventure for the first time and everything the cape has to offer. I had been looking forward to watching him light up as we got off of the Little Creek Shuttle, walked past the bath-house, onto the hot white sand pathway through the dunes where turtles nest, to arrive at the pristine Coast Guard Beach with its crashing waves and the precious rocks that gather along the shoreline. I guess I will have to wait another year for this.

I think Sarah would just rather take our vacations in small doses, not being a camper or a happy beach goer. And I suppose now as an adult she looks forward to our going away so she has peace and freedom at home in our absence. Yet, she thinks enough of our family vacations or knowing my Sarah it would probably be more accurate to say, she respects my wishes enough to sacrifice her freedom to join us for at least a few of the days.

Vacationing at the Cape would not be the same without my sweet Melissa sneaking off late into the night to hang out with the locals and have the wild teen experience. That was the nightmare of my vacation last summer that I won’t go any further into in this post. I’ll just say Fred and I were well in need of a vacation alone after returning from that week on the Cape with Melissa and her friends.

Now, a camping vacation is a lot of work. I enjoy camping but not all of the work that is involved. I like to have some meals out at restaurants so I can at least feel I’m getting some what of a break. I also need to have my camping companions cooperation. I need them to help pack up the car, to help set up of the campsite, to wash the dishes after I cook the meals, to at least hang up their own towels, bathing suits, and wet clothes up to dry after our days water adventures, and to help pack things up to go home, then, to help unpack the car when we get home. It’s not too much work when everyone cooperates but now I am down to one fellow camper that I know will bitch complain and protest having to help out each day that we’re away. And I know when its time for me to relax with a book I’m going to have to hear “I’m bored.” Or, “I’m hungry, what’s there to eat?” This is no longer a vacation. It’s a BLEEPing nightmare.

So, you’ll all have to excuse me while I drive solo to Florida to spend a few day’s away from you all relaxing with my best friend, so I can rejuvenate and put up with taking care of you all another year. In my absence, you grown people will have to manage your own meals and the piles of dirty dishes you tend to leave behind.

I’d ask you to harvest the vegetables as needed for your meals but know that in my absence you will take this as a free-ride to not have to eat vegetables for a week. I wish you all good digestion. I taught you all well, what you do while I’m gone won’t be my problem. Please refer back to this paragraph should any of your stomachs bother you while I’m away and note: the cure is in the garden.

I will be missing Fred when I am at the beach and wish he was joining me on (this or that) vacation. It is nice that I have found someone who loves the water as much as I do. We’ll have to plan on catching another wave, another time.

In the meantime… I’ll be on vacation.