Since arriving home from Florida my days have been busy catching up in the garden trashing expired crops, harvesting new crops, and doing lots of weeding.
While I was away I continued my job search and like years past the week of the fourth of July was uneventful for work prospects. Yet I’ve search and searched since my return just in case something on one of my many job sites had gotten past me or has been posted since my return and I am left with nothing worthy of action on my part. The same jobs I’ve already applied for, the ones I don’t qualify for, and the part-time positions are all that remain.
I think about going for my master’s degree, not that the bachelor’s degree did me any good. I shopped today looking at suits and thought ‘maybe wearing one of those would get me a job.’ I didn’t buy into that although I might-should I get an interview in NYC, otherwise up here in the ‘country’ I find myself most times considered over dressed.
I often find myself running around in circles getting dizzy in the repetitiveness searching for a way to escape the maze while one day ends and another begins with no more than another sunset followed some hours later by another sunrise and I continue to search for life’s meaning and my place in it without answers, without a sense of purpose and yet another day ends and another begins and all that is left is worry about the many tomorrows that will follow.
The maze of life does not get easier with more education. I’m not saying you shouldn’t go for it, but that life is complicated no matter what choices we make. Maybe you and I both need to start focusing on enjoying the journey, rather than worrying about what is to come. Easier said than done, I know, but I’m beginning to think that living happily now will eventually help me live happily in the future. I’m tired of being down and hard on myself because I’m not who I think I should be. I want to accept who I am and let the future figure itself out.
I like Lisa’s comment. I agree that if you can find a way to enjoy the “todays”, the “tomorrows” won’t be as worrisome. If you are looking into a Masters degree out of a deep-dwon desire for personal development, it may be a good move. If it’s solely for the boost in job prospects, it may not be as beneficial as you hope. Good luck though – whatever you ultimately decide